Top 10 Snappy comebacks to " Why aren't you Married yet"

10. You haven't asked yet.

9. What? And spoil my great sex life?

8. Just lucky, I guess.

7. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

6. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

5. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

4. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

3. We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it.

2. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

1. Why aren't you thin?

One day a young, buxom blonde decided that she had had it with the "Dumb Blonde" jokes going around. As a result, she decided that she would show all those non-blonde sexists that blondes really are smart, so she set out to learn the capital of each of the fifty United States.
A few days later, armed with her new-found knowledge, she overheard the watercooler talk among some co-workers; again brazenly laughing over the lack of blonde intellect. Having had our fill, our buxom blonde went to the foray and advised that she could prove to them, once and for all, that all blondes were not dumb. She then proceeded to show them by offering to name the capital of any state of their choosing. Taken aback by her confidence, a gentleman, thinking that he could stump her, asked her to name the capital of the State of Maine. With a few moments of insightful thought, our buxom blonde, as confident as could be, smiled and gleefully stated "M"!!!!!!

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.
In court the trucking companies fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,
"I'm fine," said the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened.
I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the......."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question." "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'"
Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client."
I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie."
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.
I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning.
I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.
He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.
how are you feeling?"

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes.
Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed,
"but I have a solution to your problem.
Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots. Immediately, the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, and hid,
pretending they were not home.
The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Then, he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a whiff, to get assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Damn! Our son is going to be a senator someday!"

Fun with words, Check out how these anagrams work out

The grand finale:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA
Can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into:
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Once there lived a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they had a lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So making the supreme sacrifice. He gave up baked beans. They were married shortly thereafter. Months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and he had to walk home. On the way home, he went into a small cafe and called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. After making the call, he smelled baked beans in the cafe. They were the best beans he had ever smelled! He could not resist and had three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he had gas. His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming,"darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the dining room table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned. Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner. He figured that he must be done. But then he made a third fart. This one made the flowers at the table wilt! Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him. While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom. He was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked. He assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise -- Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!