Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.
She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
"Well thank you.", said the herder.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman.
"Sure.", said the sheepherder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?", queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

If you watch very closely the fingres never leave the hand

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75% of the population.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I'll say nothing.

Pop star Michael Jackson and his second wife, former nurse Debbie Rowe Jackson, have agreed to divorce after nearly three years of marriage and two children.
Rowe filed for divorce in Los Angeles Superior Court, saying the couple had been separated since July 15 and citing 'irreconcilable differences' as the reason for ending the marriage
. . . . Could it be they kept arguing over who in the relationship was more out of their mind?

Prince Charlie's gal, Camilla Parker Bowles came to New York to get a complete makeover from the famed Oscar de la Renta.
. . . . "Hey is that a Renta face
. . . . I can see it now "Renta Face, coming to a mall near you.

The difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching and the other's a chimpanzee.

"Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir," urged the street vendor.
"I haven't got a wife," replied the young man.
"Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart."
"I don't have a sweetheart, either."
"Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck."

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order.
She prepared her will and made her final arraignments.
As part of these arraignments she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.
She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomindales.
"Bloomindales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomindales?"
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."