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| These are things which you would never have learned were it not for the
movies: - All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. - The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. - A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. - Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. - Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. - All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. - When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons - One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man. - Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. - All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software. - Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions. - When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey. - If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22. - The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love. The Panhandler A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas. He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship telling him, "Beggars can't be cruisers." Volunteer Fire Truck A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled parts. Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That ought to be obvious, " he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. "The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!" Bad Math Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." |
